I am sooooooo paranoid about things going wrong this time.
I FINALLY told my parents and my younger brother that I am pregnant but have sworn them ALL to secrecy. Now I keep thinking that something will go wrong because I have told people in my family - yes I know how irrational that sounds lol
Today I am suffering with lower back pain, stomach ache and a little nausea. I am sat with my feet up to try and stop it all. I don't know if I have over done it, slept funny or there is something more sinister is going on. If it doesn't ease in a couple of hours I'm going to call my MW and see what she says.
I had an appt with my GP on friday and explained about the hip and leg pain that I have been having - there is a possibility that I have SPD (symphisis pubis dysfunction) oh why can't I just sail through pregnancy lol
I have also made a decision - I originally thought that I would have a c-section at 38 weeks, but I've now decided to push to have one at 37 weeks, there are many reasons for this but one of the main ones is my sanity, I'm struggling so much emotionally at the moment.
On sunday I will be at the same gestation that I delivered Ethan, I'm so convinced that the same thing will happen this time that I just can't see past it.
If I get my wish to have this little one at 37 weeks - I only have another 14 weeks to go - I hope each and every one of them goes by as fast as possible.
I'm back to work on wednesday but I don't think I will be there for very long, I just don't think I can cope with anymore stress right now. We'll see how it goes, I'm going on maternity leave in 6 weeks so I'm going to try and hold out for that long but I don't know if it will work out that way.
Take care xx
